As a school counselor, you can use PowToon to:
- Share data with stakeholders
- Announce upcoming events with parents, staff, and the community
- Motivate staff
- Teach a simple concept to students
Friday, June 26, 2015
Use PowToon.com to Reach Stakeholders Using Technology
PowToon's motto is, "Brings Awesomeness to Your Presentations!" PowToons is a FREE way to engage others in a visual way using technology.
As a school counselor, you can use PowToon to:
As a school counselor, you can use PowToon to:
End of Year "Send Off" Gift for Staff
Sunday, June 21, 2015
What is Your Super Power?
What is Your Super Power?
Juan (name has been changed) comes to my office. The teacher sent Juan to me because I am supposed to "fix" Juan. She has already redirected, reprimanded, punished, and rewarded Juan. None of those worked. She believes I might have the super power to "fix" Juan.
Juan is impulsive and makes poor choices. His teacher needs help! I spend 30 minutes with Juan doing activities and talking. He returns to class. Within one minute of returning to class, he has pushed another student.
I shake my head. I can only imagine what the teacher is now thinking about my super power.
A Counselor's Doubts: Am I effective?
Counseling uses different methods to achieve a result. Sometimes the method involves insight or challenging cognitions, and "results" may be more immediate. However, sometimes we are teaching skills. And just like any teacher, it takes repetition and practice.
Brain Development
The younger we are, the more our brains change. In the case of a preschooler being exposed to ongoing violence, this can have detrimental consequences. The preschooler's brain may become hyper alert - always scanning the environment for possible danger.
However, when counselors are able to work with children at a young age introducing positive skills, brain development is to our advantage.
The "ruts" in children's brains are less developed and deep than those of adults. Children are more likely to create new neural pathways and experience brain growth in areas that control learning, decision-making, and planning. How do we promote positive brain growth in children?
4 Ways to Promote Positive Brain Development
1. Teach students the skills they need. Imagine that the student is from another planet. How can we teach them this "human" rule? Clearly define the steps for a particular skill on a pocket-sized card. The student can keep the skill card in their pocket, tape it to their desk, or attach it to their book bag.
2. Model the skill for the student. Imagine never having used a computer before. You read books about typing, making spreadsheets, browsing the Internet, saving, and finding files. Finally, one day, a computer is in front of you. Let's see how fast you can create a PowerPoint presentation. :) First, you would need to learn how to power on a computer and open Microsoft PowerPoint. Once you learn how to open PowerPoint, you would learn much faster and more effectively if someone first showed you how to create a PowerPoint. It is not enough to simply read about it. We learn visually. We need to see it.
3. Learning can begin in your office. However, in order to promote optimal brain growth, the student must practice the skills in their daily life. Use punch cards to reward students for each time they practice a skill.
4. We cannot expect a student doing addition to learn algebra in the same year. In the same way, students need scaffolded support. Ana (name has been changed) has a bad temper. When she gets angry, she throws objects, hits, breaks objects, and runs from the teacher. Which behavior do we target? Start with the most simple behavior that is lacking. See below for a sample plan to scaffold Ana's behavior when she is angry.
Juan (name has been changed) comes to my office. The teacher sent Juan to me because I am supposed to "fix" Juan. She has already redirected, reprimanded, punished, and rewarded Juan. None of those worked. She believes I might have the super power to "fix" Juan.
Juan is impulsive and makes poor choices. His teacher needs help! I spend 30 minutes with Juan doing activities and talking. He returns to class. Within one minute of returning to class, he has pushed another student.
I shake my head. I can only imagine what the teacher is now thinking about my super power.
A Counselor's Doubts: Am I effective?
Counseling uses different methods to achieve a result. Sometimes the method involves insight or challenging cognitions, and "results" may be more immediate. However, sometimes we are teaching skills. And just like any teacher, it takes repetition and practice.
Brain Development
The younger we are, the more our brains change. In the case of a preschooler being exposed to ongoing violence, this can have detrimental consequences. The preschooler's brain may become hyper alert - always scanning the environment for possible danger.
However, when counselors are able to work with children at a young age introducing positive skills, brain development is to our advantage.
The "ruts" in children's brains are less developed and deep than those of adults. Children are more likely to create new neural pathways and experience brain growth in areas that control learning, decision-making, and planning. How do we promote positive brain growth in children?
4 Ways to Promote Positive Brain Development
1. Teach students the skills they need. Imagine that the student is from another planet. How can we teach them this "human" rule? Clearly define the steps for a particular skill on a pocket-sized card. The student can keep the skill card in their pocket, tape it to their desk, or attach it to their book bag.2. Model the skill for the student. Imagine never having used a computer before. You read books about typing, making spreadsheets, browsing the Internet, saving, and finding files. Finally, one day, a computer is in front of you. Let's see how fast you can create a PowerPoint presentation. :) First, you would need to learn how to power on a computer and open Microsoft PowerPoint. Once you learn how to open PowerPoint, you would learn much faster and more effectively if someone first showed you how to create a PowerPoint. It is not enough to simply read about it. We learn visually. We need to see it.
3. Learning can begin in your office. However, in order to promote optimal brain growth, the student must practice the skills in their daily life. Use punch cards to reward students for each time they practice a skill.
4. We cannot expect a student doing addition to learn algebra in the same year. In the same way, students need scaffolded support. Ana (name has been changed) has a bad temper. When she gets angry, she throws objects, hits, breaks objects, and runs from the teacher. Which behavior do we target? Start with the most simple behavior that is lacking. See below for a sample plan to scaffold Ana's behavior when she is angry.
- Week 1: Help Ana recognize her body's warning signs for when she is angry (e.g. sweaty, clinched fists).
- Week 2: Help Ana recognize warning signs and say to herself, "I need to calm down."
- Week 3: Help Ana recognize warning signs, tell herself, "I need to calm down," and take 3 deep breaths.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Help! Dealing with Trauma Exposure
Is this Burnout?
You know that feeling when your mind won't stop because there is too much to do? You are at home but your mind is on work. You keep trying to think out of the box and find a way to fix things.
You experience a success. But every time you think you are closer, you realize there is more to be done. Domestic violence. Poverty. Abuse. Immigration. Education. And the list goes on.
The little successes become overshadowed by a heavy cloud of all that's wrong in this world. You can't stop believing that you can change things - because if you stop believing, what point is there in doing?
Coping with Trauma Exposure
Over time, some people dull their heart to others' problems. They can't cope with the pain of seeing others suffer. So they pull away and approach it from an intellectual standpoint. But our emotions make us uniquely able to listen empathetically, hold someone compassionately, and fight for our cause unequivocally.
Some people decide there is no use in trying. There is too much work to be done. And they pursue a career with more immediate results.
However, there is me and you. Like Benjamin Franklin, we believe that, "Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are." We believe that we should "do what is right, not what is easy." So, if you're like me, listen...
1. Celebrate the little successes. In "Trauma Stewardship," Lipsky says that those who witness trauma in their work may feel like they can never do enough (Lipsky, 2009). Think of the individuals you help, not just the larger systematic and societal hurdles. Remember the story of the person in whose life you made a difference.
"I can't promise to fix all your problems, but I can promise you won't have to face them all alone."
2. Take personal time to reconnect spiritually. Lipsky (2009) discusses the hyper vigilance that can accompany trauma exposure. You begin to notice greater injustices and have a stronger sense of fear. Although this may activate your "fight" response to work harder, take time to reconnect. I reconnect spiritually through being in nature, listening to music, and prayer. You may dance, create art, or do yoga. Turn off your cell phone. No work emails allowed. Reconnect.
3. And lastly, keep believing that you can change the world. Join with others who share your passion. Use social media to raise awareness of your cause. Great people make a name for themselves through perseverance.
"Of course, it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. Hard is what makes it great." ~ A League of Their Own
You know that feeling when your mind won't stop because there is too much to do? You are at home but your mind is on work. You keep trying to think out of the box and find a way to fix things.
You experience a success. But every time you think you are closer, you realize there is more to be done. Domestic violence. Poverty. Abuse. Immigration. Education. And the list goes on.
The little successes become overshadowed by a heavy cloud of all that's wrong in this world. You can't stop believing that you can change things - because if you stop believing, what point is there in doing?
Coping with Trauma Exposure
Over time, some people dull their heart to others' problems. They can't cope with the pain of seeing others suffer. So they pull away and approach it from an intellectual standpoint. But our emotions make us uniquely able to listen empathetically, hold someone compassionately, and fight for our cause unequivocally.
Some people decide there is no use in trying. There is too much work to be done. And they pursue a career with more immediate results.
However, there is me and you. Like Benjamin Franklin, we believe that, "Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are." We believe that we should "do what is right, not what is easy." So, if you're like me, listen...
1. Celebrate the little successes. In "Trauma Stewardship," Lipsky says that those who witness trauma in their work may feel like they can never do enough (Lipsky, 2009). Think of the individuals you help, not just the larger systematic and societal hurdles. Remember the story of the person in whose life you made a difference.
"I can't promise to fix all your problems, but I can promise you won't have to face them all alone."2. Take personal time to reconnect spiritually. Lipsky (2009) discusses the hyper vigilance that can accompany trauma exposure. You begin to notice greater injustices and have a stronger sense of fear. Although this may activate your "fight" response to work harder, take time to reconnect. I reconnect spiritually through being in nature, listening to music, and prayer. You may dance, create art, or do yoga. Turn off your cell phone. No work emails allowed. Reconnect.
3. And lastly, keep believing that you can change the world. Join with others who share your passion. Use social media to raise awareness of your cause. Great people make a name for themselves through perseverance.
"Of course, it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. Hard is what makes it great." ~ A League of Their Own
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Helping Kids Set Boundaries
This week, I talked with a student whose parent often becomes angry. She feels responsible for the parent's emotions and poor behavior. She finds ways to calm the parent and keep the parent happy. Instead of being able to focus on herself, she has taken on responsibility for another human being. Boundaries have been blurred.
What are Boundaries?
A boundary defines "what is me and what is not me" (Cloud & Townsend, 1992, p. 31). Boundaries are developed in the context of a safe relationship, usually with the mother. They allow the child to feel safe and attached enough to venture out and be independent. In other words, the world feels safe enough for the child to practice making decisions on their own.
When Kids Say "No"
When a child exercises their "no," they are practicing boundaries. As educators and parents, we often believe the idea that we are the adult, they are the child, and there is no room for discussion. However, saying "no" is one of the first boundaries a child practices. If we respond with a "my-way-or-the-highway" approach, we are sending two messages:
Instead, we respect their "no" (within limits) and allow natural consequences to occur.
If we choose to emotionally withdraw when they don't do as we expect, we send the message, "When I'm good, I am loved. When I'm bad, I am cut off" (p. 77). Imagine how you would feel if you internalized this message (which you may have) and lived your life according to this. What a rollercoaster of emotions!
Boundaries and Trauma
Many of my students are exposed to trauma. Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend (1992) describe trauma as similar to "lightning hitting a tree." It shakes a child to their core as they question two beliefs:
These two beliefs are at the heart of developing healthy boundaries. Children who have experienced trauma often do not have the safe attachment that allows them to feel confident in setting boundaries. They may have difficulty with physical boundaries (personal space and respecting their body), emotional boundaries (trying to make others happy or trying to make others like them), and verbal boundaries (giving into peer pressure).
What Can We Do?
As school counselors, we can help children heal and practice their boundaries. Below are three concepts we can integrate into our counseling and instruction:
Reference
Based on Dr. Cloud & Dr. Townsend (1992). Boundaries.
What are Boundaries?
A boundary defines "what is me and what is not me" (Cloud & Townsend, 1992, p. 31). Boundaries are developed in the context of a safe relationship, usually with the mother. They allow the child to feel safe and attached enough to venture out and be independent. In other words, the world feels safe enough for the child to practice making decisions on their own.
When a child exercises their "no," they are practicing boundaries. As educators and parents, we often believe the idea that we are the adult, they are the child, and there is no room for discussion. However, saying "no" is one of the first boundaries a child practices. If we respond with a "my-way-or-the-highway" approach, we are sending two messages:
1. I don't respect your 'no."
2. Do what I say now, whether you agree with it or not.If we, as safe adults, don't allow children to practice their "no," they may not be ready to say "no" later in life, perhaps five years later when their friends pressure them to use marijuana. We don't want our children to act under coercion, even if it is our coercion. This will lead to a teenager who either people pleases or does "the right thing" only when you are around.
Instead, we respect their "no" (within limits) and allow natural consequences to occur.
If we choose to emotionally withdraw when they don't do as we expect, we send the message, "When I'm good, I am loved. When I'm bad, I am cut off" (p. 77). Imagine how you would feel if you internalized this message (which you may have) and lived your life according to this. What a rollercoaster of emotions!
Boundaries and Trauma
Many of my students are exposed to trauma. Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend (1992) describe trauma as similar to "lightning hitting a tree." It shakes a child to their core as they question two beliefs:
"1. The world is reasonably safe.
2. They have control over their lives."
(Cloud & Townsend, 1992, p 83)
These two beliefs are at the heart of developing healthy boundaries. Children who have experienced trauma often do not have the safe attachment that allows them to feel confident in setting boundaries. They may have difficulty with physical boundaries (personal space and respecting their body), emotional boundaries (trying to make others happy or trying to make others like them), and verbal boundaries (giving into peer pressure).
What Can We Do?
As school counselors, we can help children heal and practice their boundaries. Below are three concepts we can integrate into our counseling and instruction:
You are responsible for your happiness. You are not responsible for someone else's happiness.
You are responsible for your own choices, and the natural consequences that follow.
You can say "no" and be respected. You also have to respect other people's "no's."The next time a child says, "No," you just might think of it in a different way.
Reference
Based on Dr. Cloud & Dr. Townsend (1992). Boundaries.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Feeling Helpless as a First Responder
The First Responder
As a school counselor, I often feel like the first responder in a psychological crisis. I am like the EMT that escorts the child to the psychological hospital (aka. the therapist's office) where most of the intense recovery work takes place.
Unfortunately, for some of my students, the parents either do not have the resources or do not see the need for their student to receive counseling, and the child is left in my care. I am the only "psychological" doctor they will see.
At a recent conference, I was grappling with the anxiety of being a first responder in trauma recovery. After a presentation on trauma, I once again felt the helplessness of only being a school counselor.
Hoping to find some inspiration, I pursued a conversation with the presenter. "Many students at my school are dealing with trauma." I recounted a story to him of a child who had witnessed a terrifying domestic violence incident. The child sobbed in my office as she told me the story. I felt helpless. I knew this child needed support to process such a cruel act. She herself felt helpless. How could I, feeling helpless myself, help her?
A Healing Relationship
In this moment, I was to be what Judith Herman (1997) calls "a healing relationship." Peter Levine and Maggie Kline (2007) compare it to being "a band-aid or a splint. The band-aid or splint doesn't heal the wound, but protects and supports the body as it restores itself" (p.84). Peace refers to this relationship as "the Constant" - a relationship we can recall in our memory that is comforting, consistent, and inspiring. Peace says this relationship may be "your mom, a close friend...your cat, a deceased relative."
In all three definitions, this healing relationship is consistent and provides a safe place for healing to occur. The school counselor is the band-aid. The school counselor is the healing relationship. The school counselor is the Constant to many children who have experienced trauma.
Below are several research-based guidelines for establishing a safe, healing relationship with children who have experienced trauma.
1. Set boundaries.
After a child has experienced trauma, they may actively seek someone to relieve them of their pain. The child may idealize the counselor, or another adult they trust. They may set such high, impossible standards for the counselor that the counselor will inevitably fail. Talk with the child about boundaries, and what you can and cannot do as their counselor (Herman, 1997).
2. Empower the student.
Do not assume the role of "rescuer", thereby allowing the child to stay in the role of "victim." Herman (1997) warns that "the more the therapist accepts the idea that the patient is helpless, the more she perpetuates the traumatic transference and disempowers the patient" (p.142). Give the child as much opportunity as possible to make choices, voice their feelings, and be their own advocate. In the beginning, help the child establish safety by focusing on taking care of themselves (e.g. eating and sleeping routines), managing their post-traumatic symptoms, and developing trust.
3. Care for yourself.
Listening to traumatizing stories day after day is exhausting. You emotionally identify with the child, sometimes experiencing similar feelings of helplessness and fear. As you hear and "re-live" these stories, you must grapple with existential questions like "How can a loving God allow this to happen?" You may call into question some of your own relationships and find yourself being less trusting of others. In order to care for the child through this emotional tumultuous process, you must also care for yourself.
Herman (1997) compares trauma recovery to running a marathon. It is not a single event. It is not one single moment in time where the child bares their soul. Instead, it is a slow process that requires honesty, grit, and a healing relationship.
I do not suggest that trauma recovery work should take place in the school setting. However, trauma and its symptoms are brought to school everyday. The school counselor must be prepared to be a first responder to children in trauma. While we may not be the private practice counselor that processes the traumatic event with the child, we do want to be a safe, healing relationship for the child.
References
Levine, P. A. & Kline, M (2007). Trauma through a child's eyes. Berkeley, California: North Atlantic Books and Lyons, Colorado: ERGOS Institute Press.
Herman, J (1997). Trauma and recovery. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Peace (unknown). Psychopath free.
As a school counselor, I often feel like the first responder in a psychological crisis. I am like the EMT that escorts the child to the psychological hospital (aka. the therapist's office) where most of the intense recovery work takes place.
Unfortunately, for some of my students, the parents either do not have the resources or do not see the need for their student to receive counseling, and the child is left in my care. I am the only "psychological" doctor they will see.
At a recent conference, I was grappling with the anxiety of being a first responder in trauma recovery. After a presentation on trauma, I once again felt the helplessness of only being a school counselor.
Hoping to find some inspiration, I pursued a conversation with the presenter. "Many students at my school are dealing with trauma." I recounted a story to him of a child who had witnessed a terrifying domestic violence incident. The child sobbed in my office as she told me the story. I felt helpless. I knew this child needed support to process such a cruel act. She herself felt helpless. How could I, feeling helpless myself, help her?
A Healing Relationship
In this moment, I was to be what Judith Herman (1997) calls "a healing relationship." Peter Levine and Maggie Kline (2007) compare it to being "a band-aid or a splint. The band-aid or splint doesn't heal the wound, but protects and supports the body as it restores itself" (p.84). Peace refers to this relationship as "the Constant" - a relationship we can recall in our memory that is comforting, consistent, and inspiring. Peace says this relationship may be "your mom, a close friend...your cat, a deceased relative."
Below are several research-based guidelines for establishing a safe, healing relationship with children who have experienced trauma.
1. Set boundaries.
After a child has experienced trauma, they may actively seek someone to relieve them of their pain. The child may idealize the counselor, or another adult they trust. They may set such high, impossible standards for the counselor that the counselor will inevitably fail. Talk with the child about boundaries, and what you can and cannot do as their counselor (Herman, 1997).
2. Empower the student.
Do not assume the role of "rescuer", thereby allowing the child to stay in the role of "victim." Herman (1997) warns that "the more the therapist accepts the idea that the patient is helpless, the more she perpetuates the traumatic transference and disempowers the patient" (p.142). Give the child as much opportunity as possible to make choices, voice their feelings, and be their own advocate. In the beginning, help the child establish safety by focusing on taking care of themselves (e.g. eating and sleeping routines), managing their post-traumatic symptoms, and developing trust.
3. Care for yourself.
Listening to traumatizing stories day after day is exhausting. You emotionally identify with the child, sometimes experiencing similar feelings of helplessness and fear. As you hear and "re-live" these stories, you must grapple with existential questions like "How can a loving God allow this to happen?" You may call into question some of your own relationships and find yourself being less trusting of others. In order to care for the child through this emotional tumultuous process, you must also care for yourself.
Herman (1997) compares trauma recovery to running a marathon. It is not a single event. It is not one single moment in time where the child bares their soul. Instead, it is a slow process that requires honesty, grit, and a healing relationship.
I do not suggest that trauma recovery work should take place in the school setting. However, trauma and its symptoms are brought to school everyday. The school counselor must be prepared to be a first responder to children in trauma. While we may not be the private practice counselor that processes the traumatic event with the child, we do want to be a safe, healing relationship for the child.
References
Levine, P. A. & Kline, M (2007). Trauma through a child's eyes. Berkeley, California: North Atlantic Books and Lyons, Colorado: ERGOS Institute Press.
Herman, J (1997). Trauma and recovery. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Peace (unknown). Psychopath free.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Why I Matter So Much (and Why YOU Do Too!)
The past few months have been quite stressful. Working as a school counselor at a high needs school means lots of crisis intervention, lots of teacher consultation, and lots of individual counseling on serious issues.
The title of this post may sound pompous. If so, it is misunderstood. It is not just why I matter so much, but also why YOU matter so much.
This week, I had to remind myself that I am the most valuable therapeutic tool I have available. CBT is great, and social skills training can be effective, but none of these techniques or tools compare to the value of myself.
If the students see me as approachable, they will seek me out. If the students see me as safe, they will drop their defenses. If the students see me as trustworthy, they will share their hidden truths. If the students see me as caring, they will know that their feelings matter in this great big world.
Any counselor can SAY all of these things - "You can trust me. Your feelings matter. You are safe here." But showing them WHO I AM is what welcomes their trust, respect, and confidence AND makes the difference.
Do you feel like you are less than approachable, less than safe, less than....how do you become who you want to be? I have 2 quick rules that guide me as a school counselor.
1) No child (or teacher) is an interruption. Interruptions are part of my job (although they didn't make the official job description). Deal with interruptions with grace - as if you were expecting the person. Although boundaries are needed, never make a student feel like their feelings, needs, or presence are unwanted or unimportant.
2) Be genuine. The truth is I love my kids. Carl Rogers speaks of congruence in person-centered therapy. If you don't love your kids, if you have lost your passion, step back and reflect. Genuineness will fuel the extra emotional energy, the extra time, and the extra creative power you need to be an effective counselor.
The title of this post may sound pompous. If so, it is misunderstood. It is not just why I matter so much, but also why YOU matter so much.
This week, I had to remind myself that I am the most valuable therapeutic tool I have available. CBT is great, and social skills training can be effective, but none of these techniques or tools compare to the value of myself.
If the students see me as approachable, they will seek me out. If the students see me as safe, they will drop their defenses. If the students see me as trustworthy, they will share their hidden truths. If the students see me as caring, they will know that their feelings matter in this great big world.
Any counselor can SAY all of these things - "You can trust me. Your feelings matter. You are safe here." But showing them WHO I AM is what welcomes their trust, respect, and confidence AND makes the difference.
1) No child (or teacher) is an interruption. Interruptions are part of my job (although they didn't make the official job description). Deal with interruptions with grace - as if you were expecting the person. Although boundaries are needed, never make a student feel like their feelings, needs, or presence are unwanted or unimportant.
2) Be genuine. The truth is I love my kids. Carl Rogers speaks of congruence in person-centered therapy. If you don't love your kids, if you have lost your passion, step back and reflect. Genuineness will fuel the extra emotional energy, the extra time, and the extra creative power you need to be an effective counselor.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)